Oh well. I'm really out control these past days ever since everyone left just this week. You see, I'm still awake at 1am and not doing ANYTHING productive. As in! And today/tonight, which is my fourth day of being a nocturnal, I am tired of being awake at this hour at dawn but still, I won't sleep. I'm a bit tired of this kind of lifestyle for the past 3 straight days yet I'm not stopping. So pathetic. And to think I have no one to wait for or nothing to be interested in for the moment. How can I be this stubborn and act like a garbage. I feel useless. I'm so not into the right direction. I've been like this since Tuesday and during my 3rd day which was my longest stay of crumpling myself(4am), I feel so sick. During my first late stay at night, I fell excited and alive! But later on, I thought I super lack sleep already. I wouldn't wonder anymore if there will come a time when I will be anemic soon. This is so not me. I just keep on telling things to myself to stop this act but I'm not doing anything to cease the problem. AAAAHHHHHHGGGGGG. This is the problem. I don't know why I'm still typing here when I must be trying to finish the blog, post it, and then close the window and then turn off the computer. BUT again, still, here I am, still holding on..(KA mode?) LOL. Anyway, yeah, why am I still on?
OK, I'm now stopping.. slooooowwwwllly.. thinking of what to do next.. ok, I've decided.. I'll log out already after I post this.
And then what? I don't know still. Maybe, I'll still be thinking for my next move. Anyway, wish me luck.
Goodnight.
Friday, June 5, 2009
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